Smile!
...or...what?
“What are you mad about?”
Smile!
“Is there something wrong?”
Smile!
“You look sad.”
Smile.
“You’re much prettier when you smile.”
The number of times over the course of 61+ years that I’ve heard that from a man.
Co-workers, bosses, friends, boyfriends, husbands.
Smile.
Because my existence, my emotions, my face, my appearance, could only be validated by a man’s perception of me.
A man needed to see me smile.
What did that smile do?
Make me important, valuable, smart, or just obedient?
For me to have value and worth, the following had to occur:
My skin was tight.
My butt was firm.
My hair was well-groomed.
My hair was colored, no gray to be shown.
My lips were plump.
My cheeks were plump.
My clothes were trendy, trendy being youthful.
My face was made up; eyes, cheeks, and lips.
Spending hundreds of dollars on hairtcare, skincare, nail care, spa care, slothing, and of course high heel shoes.
Shave my legs, my private spaces.
Stay fit, stay thin, stay small.
Look athletic, but not too muscular.
Smooth skin.
No cellulite.
No curves.
No lumps.
No sags.
No gray.
No wrinkles.
No belly fat.
Show off your assets.
Show some cleavage.
Smell fresh.
Be young.
Nothing natural.
I am not supposed to age gracefully.
I am worthy of ridicule.
I am supposed to meet a societal standard set by the men that own all the companies, the pageants, the media, that set these standards and sell these products.
Making billions off of convincing us we need to remain young.
Be attractive, be sexy, be young.
Anti-aging products.
Lip filler.
Botox.
Crop tops.
Push-up bras.
Skim smoother.
Thong underwear.
Low-rise.
Brazilian.
String bikinis.
Liposuction.
Nip & tuck.
The “model” body
Flat belly.
Waifs.
Playful.
Submissive.
Dainty.
Quiet.
Obedient.
Be Nice.
Smile.
Be Quiet.
Smile.
Listen.
Smile, smile, smile.
Watch what you eat.
Count your calories.
Track your workouts.
Stay thin.
This diet, that diet.
Buy more clothes, more products, more shoes, more, more, more…..
Buy, buy, buy….
Look like her.
Do this, do that.
Do what I say.
Smile.
Compare, compare, compare.
Be young.
Don’t grow up.
Don’t grow old.
Don’t speak up.
Just
Smile
Fuck you, you smile.
.